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User blog:DancePowderer/708 Abridged
Chinjao: Your grandpa was a prick. Cavendish: Are you Luffy? Luffy: No. Chinjao: Since I can't find Garp, I'll have to settle for his grandson. Luffy: I'm not my grandpa. Chinjao: Aha! Luffy: Damn it! Who is this Garp of which you speak? No sprecht Japanese! Me amo LUCY! Cavendish: If you are Luffy, it's time to die! Chinjao: Plus it turns out that apparently I missed a generation. Random guy: Hey! Shut the hell up! Other random guy: Run! It's a senior moment! Luffy: Did you take your pills this morning? Cavendish: Take off that beard! Luffy: Kinda busy here. Another random guy: This will make the fanboys go crazy, but that guy's bounty is over 500,000,000! Chinjao: Headshot! Cavendish: Fuck off you geriatric volleyball! I will poke you with my sword! Yet another Random Guy: You might say he's....hard-headed! And by the way, pretty-boy's sword has a name. Chinjao: Chinjao SMASH! Cavendish: Flippy flippy! Chinjao: Gomu Gomu no Gatling! Cavendish: Note to self, attacking directly bad. Luffy: Hit the bricks, old man! Spectators: Who is that guy? Seriously... Chinjao: That tickled. Spectators: He's alive? So Chinjao really did bust a continent over his head. Chinjao: So you guys actually are formidable, but youth never trumps old age, ever. Cavendish: You are so Luffy. Luffy: Stay focused, blondie. Cavendish: You stand over the hate-filled path that you have walked. Villages razed, treasure plundered, innocent people cut down in your wake all to spread the hellfire with which you try to rule. Thousands dead by your hand, millions more by those who for some reason follow you. In your wake you leave survivors solely for the purpose of breeding hatred against you. What say you, demon, scourge, irritant born into this world from the line of a demon to those with whom you walk? What say you now! Luffy: What does that have to- Mihawk: Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Pump the brakes here, D'Artagnan. You obviously only just woke up, because that ain't how this particular protagonist operates. Luffy, what the hell kind of rumors spread about you? You need to fire your publicist. While you're doing that, D'Artagnan needs to brush-up on his pre-timeskip history. Namely, what a certain Shichibukai, hi, Dracule Mihawk, nice to meet you, said about Luffy's ability to make ALLIES! Is it so hard to do a little background research before saying shit like that? Sheesh. Anyway, I'll let you continue your little story, only because it will be hilarious when you find out you're so wrong. Mihawk out. Luffy -do with me? Did everything just taste like iron for a second? And I'm Lucy! At least that got the old guy off my back. Sai: Damn it, grandpa! You forgot to take your pills again Boo: You'll be disqualified if you fight now. Chinjao: Fuck off, kiddies, grandpa's releasing his aggression! I've obsessed over killing Garp, and this is the best I can do. Sai: Remember the reason we came here. Luffy: Where were you guys like ten minutes ago? Staff: Hey! No fighting! Luffy: Same question! Cavendish: Killing this guy is worth disqualification. Wait. Damn it! He left! Sai: Grandpa, in case you forgot, all three of us are in the same block as that guy. Boo: So learn some fucking patience! Cavendish: Time to die, Straw Hat! Random people: What was that? Did someone mention Straw Hat Luffy? Random people: Wait, the pirate? Random people: No, the fashion statement. Yes, the pirate. He's competing apparently. Random people: FUCK! Luffy: I'm on the ledge, of glory, and I'm hanging to get away from you....Sorry Franky...Oh, hey, stuff people actually care about! Announcer: Tank Lepanto is down due to Abdullah and Jeet! Abdullah: They see me strollin', and killin'. Jeet: I know that they've already caught us fighting dirty. Already caught us fighting dirty... Announcer: I have just received the latest body count, and it seems there are only 30 or so people left. Dagama: Freeze! This glove is loaded! Abdullah and Jeet: Come at us bros! Bellamy: I...hate...Chamillionaire! Let's see how far back you bend. Announcer: Well, they're out. Crowd: Now we're being drawn to the fishman. Announcer: Hack has been one-hitting everyone. Crowd: And now we're being drawn to a guy peeing. Announcer: And if you look toward the outer edge of the ring, you will see Bartolomeo relieving himself into a tank of homicidal fish. Bartolomeo: Don't go chasing waterfalls. Hack: Fuck honor, I'm attacking you while you're vulnerable to get the crowd on my side! Crowd: We're watching the fishman again. Bartolomeo: Oh, no! I'm utterly defenseless! Hack: OWWW! Sweet mother of....GAH! Bartolomeo: Gotcha bitch. Everyone: What the fuck was that? Category:Blog posts